Better to Laugh

I have done pretty well saying no to foods with sugar. The foods I have been able to say no to were all store-bought items (cakes, donuts, cookies, etc.). Yesterday, someone left homemade blondies in the break room. I did it; I ate half of one. It tasted wonderful going down, although, not as comforting as I thought it would be, and twenty minutes later I felt nauseous. 

I regretted eating it, and felt terrible in the tummy, so I thought I was done with sugar, again. But something came over me at home, and I ate a Lindor milk and white chocolate truffle, a handful of chocolate Cheerios, and some potato chips. I figured I would go all out and ate three pieces of Papa Murphy’s thin crust veggie pizza (the pieces with the least sauce). At that point, I surrendered amid the wreckage of my diet. I felt pretty good after the pizza, but knew I did not want to keep heading down that slippery slope. I went to bed and woke up feeling fine, so I thought I had conquered the itches.

Today, I went to our church’s ladies day out. Surrounding me were homemade cakes, brownies, fruit, salad, fruit salad, punch, etc. I was a little drawn in by the homemade red velvet cake, but it didn’t take much will power to pass it up. I had fruit (for the first time in a month) and some lettuce with black olives and sesame seeds. I enjoyed being with the ladies, and I didn’t mind not eating the baked goodies.

As I started to leave, I felt an itch on my arm. Not a dry skin itch, but that itch that fires from some internal place. I haven’t had those itches since taking the prednisone and sticking with elimination diet. An hour later, itches were firing all over (face, eyelids, neck, arms, legs). Well, now I’ve done it; I’ve eaten so many different foods, I don’t know which food(s) got the itches going. Maybe too many of all of it? The fruit? The veggie pizza?

At least I know what I can eat and not itch, so it’s back to the drawing board. Next time I will try one food and wait to see if anything happens. If I feel an uncontrollable urge again, I will try to replace the urge with something constructive. Any ideas?

Well, the last week has been rough. I was feeling pretty ill early last week, depressed, weak. The doc put me on no carbs while I battle this yeast overgrowth; that is what antibiotics followed by prednisone will do to you. Oh, and possibly perimenopause. Yikes; I can’t be that old! Anyway, no carbs lasted about three days, then I couldn’t take it anymore. In order for the body to function, it needs some carbs, especially if you are active. So I began eating whole shredded wheat, no sugar added. By Thursday, I started to feel like myself, and every day since I have felt a little closer to normal.

I was giving my body what it needed when I started eliminating added sugar on my own a little while back. I still haven’t had any sugars for weeks, not that I haven’t been tempted. Last night at small group, they had white cake (my favorite) with strawberries and whipped cream. Yum! I resisted by imagining how it would taste if I could eat it. It wasn’t as exciting as actually eating it, but I made it through. I walked by a free, whole grain, breakfast bun this morning and wanted to inhale it. I kept asking myself, “Why would you want to ruin what you have started?” I avoided diet destruction, barely.

When my mom stopped smoking decades ago, she said that for a few years she wanted a cigarette every time she smelled someone else’s smoke. Eventually, the smell made her sick, and she never wanted another cigarette. I hope I can feel that way about sugary food, except I want it to take less time than a few years. Is that asking too much?

It has been over a week since I have had sugar of any kind, except those naturally occurring in Greek yogurt, the only starch I have had is some plain potato chips here and there, and rolled oats are the only complex carb I have eaten. Well, I did cheat last Sunday and had plain shredded wheat (no sugar, no salt, no anything) and some whole milk. The rest of my diet has been eggs, meats, and green beans. 

It has been tough watching people around me eat pancakes dripping with syrup, crispy bacon, sausage, sandwiches, fresh fruit, fries, creamy ice cream, flavorful salads, potatoes, bread, cookies, etc. I am realizing how addicting food (sugar, in particular) really is. If the withdrawal is this hard with food, how must it be with smoking, alcohol, and drugs? The only thing keeping me from eating the bag of Lindor truffles in the pantry is the fact that I cannot eat them if I want to figure out what this food sensitivity is. “I can’t” is more persuasive than “I don’t want to.” My elimination diet is controlling my consumption, but what happens when I start adding foods back? Then will power will have to kick in, and I hope I have been clean long enough that I don’t start old habits.