Better to Laugh

I almost have my returns done.  You know, the things I bought at Christmas and then decided that I didn’t need, clothes that I bought a couple of months ago that didn’t fit, etc.  The customer service guy at Meijer in Carmel was so patient and had such a great attitude.  Some might have assumed because he was young and had long shaggy hair that he might not do a good job, but he was awesome.  I had three bags of stuff, and I also asked if I could get an adjustment for a coupon that I had forgotten.  I said a big, “Thanks,” when it was all done.  He replied, “No problem, that’s what I’m here for!”  Very cool guy!

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Is it just me or are people happier this year?  I encountered very few rude or impatient people in the last week during my shop-a-thon, which was much more tiring than the marathon I did a few weeks ago.  Actually, I can only think of two instances when someone cut me off in a parking lot or someone didn’t smile at me.  There is less money but more happy.  Perhaps gratitude is more abundant because greed is less possible?  I like that!

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I was trying to make an apple pie for Christmas at 9 p.m. on Christmas Eve.  Elbows deep into cut apples, I realized I didn’t have any lemon juice.  I called three CVS stores and one Walgreens…no lemon juice.  I even called a BP gas station.  I tried to not panick.  Then I thought about my workplace…I mean, they do have a kitchen and a full size refrigerator.  I only live two miles away, so I hopped into my car and drove over to the school.  I went to the fridge, opened it, looked on the shelves in the door, and there it was – a little, yellow plastic lemon!  Score!!  Who cares that it was two months past the expiration date; I have used lemon juice older than that in the past.  I will replace it with a fresh, plastic lemon on Monday.  Sheesh, what a mom will do to make her family an apple pie for Christmas.

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I was walking down the hunting isle at Wal-Mart (looking for the camping isle), when I spotted a pink camouflage hat.  Pray tell, where would you wear pink camo?  A bubble gum factory?  A cotton candy factory?  From whom would you be hiding?  It makes about as much sense as pink football jerseys for women.  If you want to support your team, wear their colors!  Now, I can see a cute pair of pink camo capris as fun fashion, but you would probably find them in the Juniors section, not the hunting isle.  Then again, hunters wear bright orange over their camouflage for safety, so I guess they aren’t really trying to hide from the animals, anyway.

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So, I tried on jeans today.  I have lost 50 lbs. in the last few years, and I can now wear a size 8 comfortably and squeeze into a size 6!  Yea!  And yet, I still can’t wear cute jeans due to my ample posterior.  If they fit my bubble butt, they gap in the waist.  Or, I wear them on the hips, and that is not pretty at my age.  Looser skin has to pool somewhere.  Do women still get butt cheek implants?  And if so, why don’t they make cute jeans for women with junk in the trunk?

LOL, the spell check defines ‘butt’ as:  the thicker, larger or blunt end of something considered to be the bottom or base of it.  The thicker, larger?  Ugh!

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