Better to Laugh

My mom and dad have had a raccoon living in their fireplace for some time now.  Before I get hate mail, I know it is a cute, furry animal, but it is also wild.  Raccoons have been known to attack humans, so for the safety of the grandchildren (and my mom), it had to go.  My mom recently heard of a woman that fell running from a raccoon, and it started gnawing on her leg after she hit the ground.  Besides, they can’t use the fireplace with a raccoon living in it.  WARNING:  If cute, furry animals make you all warm and fuzzy inside, then you might not want to read on.

The male brain trust of our family (my father, brother, husband, and 21 year-old son) huddled up to discuss the best way to get rid of the animal.  It isn’t like my father hadn’t tried to get rid of it (poison), but this is one tough raccoon.  So, they decided to take drastic measures.  They chose two high-powered pellet guns as their weapons and a baseball bat for backup.  They had my dad and son with the baseball bat in the living room to light some paper and smoke him out of the chimney, while my brother and husband climbed on the roof to shoot it when it climbed out.  I was upstairs with my camera, ready to capture the moment.  By the way, it was about 38 degrees and raining, so I really thought the moment would be one of them (or both) falling off of the roof.  The smoke worked, the raccoon came out, jumped on the roof, and my brother shot it in the butt.  Now, I am no hunting expert, but I don’t think the butt is a kill shot.  Anyway, it jumped on the next level roof with my brother and husband in tow.  I could hear the pounding as the three of them jumped and ran across the roof.  They each got another shot, and that pretty much did it in.

To sum it up:  How many men does it take to rid the fireplace of vermin?  Apparently four men, two guns, some smoke, and a baseball bat.  How many women does it take to do the same?  One woman and one phone…to call the local, professional exterminator.