Better to Laugh

I am still getting used to wearing glasses.  Some things are just very aggravating; now I know why my husband has gotten frustrated with glasses all these years.  They fog up, smudge, slide down your nose, and mystery dirt gets on them.  Oh, and be careful what you wipe them with so that you don’t scratch them or smudge them worse than they already are. 

Today, I went out with some students to get music stands out of my SUV.  I ran through the snow flurries with my hand above my eyes so that I wouldn’t end up with wet glasses.  One of the students asked if I was cold.  “No, I am trying to keep from getting spots on my glasses,” I said with exasperation.  He laughed and said, “I don’t even think about it.”  Then I realized that three out of the five students wore glasses, and they weren’t paying any attention to the snow.  Boy, did I look silly!  Still, I just can’t seem to let the spots go, yet.

My mom and dad have had a raccoon living in their fireplace for some time now.  Before I get hate mail, I know it is a cute, furry animal, but it is also wild.  Raccoons have been known to attack humans, so for the safety of the grandchildren (and my mom), it had to go.  My mom recently heard of a woman that fell running from a raccoon, and it started gnawing on her leg after she hit the ground.  Besides, they can’t use the fireplace with a raccoon living in it.  WARNING:  If cute, furry animals make you all warm and fuzzy inside, then you might not want to read on.

The male brain trust of our family (my father, brother, husband, and 21 year-old son) huddled up to discuss the best way to get rid of the animal.  It isn’t like my father hadn’t tried to get rid of it (poison), but this is one tough raccoon.  So, they decided to take drastic measures.  They chose two high-powered pellet guns as their weapons and a baseball bat for backup.  They had my dad and son with the baseball bat in the living room to light some paper and smoke him out of the chimney, while my brother and husband climbed on the roof to shoot it when it climbed out.  I was upstairs with my camera, ready to capture the moment.  By the way, it was about 38 degrees and raining, so I really thought the moment would be one of them (or both) falling off of the roof.  The smoke worked, the raccoon came out, jumped on the roof, and my brother shot it in the butt.  Now, I am no hunting expert, but I don’t think the butt is a kill shot.  Anyway, it jumped on the next level roof with my brother and husband in tow.  I could hear the pounding as the three of them jumped and ran across the roof.  They each got another shot, and that pretty much did it in.

To sum it up:  How many men does it take to rid the fireplace of vermin?  Apparently four men, two guns, some smoke, and a baseball bat.  How many women does it take to do the same?  One woman and one phone…to call the local, professional exterminator.

I decided to get the salt washed off of my car yesterday.  I used the automatic car wash.  I felt a little claustrophobic, which was weird; I have never felt like that in the car wash before.  Then, just as I got to the rinse, the power shut off.  I sat stunned.  It was eerily quiet with only the sound of dripping water.  What was I supposed to do?  I couldn’t get out.  For one thing, what if it started up again and I wasn’t in the car?  That would not be cool if my car got to the “Go” light without a driver.  I sat there for about a minute, watching the suds run down the windshield.  Then, the power came back on.  It took a few seconds for it to get to full power, which sounded like something from a scary movie.  I’m glad it didn’t take too long to get going again.  I didn’t even have any snacks in the car; I left my Girl Scout cookies at work.  I don’t mind being trapped, as long as I have the necessary supplies.

I was sharing with my health class students my fight with Meniere’s Disease (inner ear malfunction causing vertigo, nausea, fullness in the ear, etc.).  I went to sit down and thought my chair was right behind me.  But no, it was to the right.  I got half of one cheek on the chair and fell to the floor.  I hopped up quickly into the chair with a big grin on my face.  Only one student saw it, and he said, “Wow, Ms. Dawn,” with a big smile.  I told the others, “You missed it; I fell out of my chair!”  They didn’t take their eyes off of me the rest of class, lol.

Don’t get too relaxed in a sauna the day after partaking in a Bloomin’ Onion.  That’s all I have to say about that.